STUDY IN CHINA GLOBAL (SCG)作品原文
余光中 《七律·尺素寸心》
接读朋友的来信，尤其是远自海外犹带着异国风云的航空信，确是人生一大快事，如果无须回信的话。回信，是读信之乐的一大代价。久不回信，屡不回信，接信之乐必然就相对减少，以致于无，这时，友情便暂告中断了，直到有一天在赎罪的心情下，你毅然回起信来。蹉跎了这么久，接信之乐早变成欠信之苦，我便是这么一位屡犯的罪人，交游千百，几乎每一位朋友都数得出我的前科来的。英国诗人奥登曾说，他常常搁下重要的信件不回，躲在家里看他的侦探小说。王尔德有一次对韩黎说：“我认得不少人，满怀光明的远景来到伦敦，但是几个月后就整个崩溃了，因为他们有回信的习惯。”显然王尔德认为，要过好日子，就得戒除回信的恶习。可见怕回信的人，原不止我一个。
回信，固然可畏，不回信，也绝非什么乐事。书架上经常叠着百多封未回之信，“债龄”或长或短，长的甚至在一年以上，那样的压力，也绝非一个普通的罪徒所能负担的。一叠未回的信，就像一群不散的阴魂，在我罪深孽重的心底憧憧作崇。理论上说来，这些信当然是要回的。我可以坦然向天发誓，在我清醒的时刻，我绝未存心不回人信。问题出在技术上。给我一整个夏夜的空闲，我该先回一年半前的那封信呢，还是7个月前的这封？隔了这么久，恐怕连谢罪自谴的有效期也早过了吧？在朋友的心目中，你早已沦为不值得计较的妄人。“莫名其妙！”是你在江湖上一致的评语。
其实，即使终于鼓起全部的道德勇气，坐在桌前，准备偿付信债于万一，也不是轻易能如愿的。七零八落的新简旧信，漫无规则地充塞在书架上、抽屉里，有的回过，有的未回，“只在此山中，云深不知处”，要找到你决心要回的那一封，耗费的时间和精力，往往数倍于回信本身。再想象朋友接信时的表情，不是喜出望外，而是余怒重炽，你那一点决心就整个崩溃了。你的债，永无清偿之日。不回信，绝不等于忘了朋友，正如世上绝无忘了债主的负债人。在你惶恐的深处，恶魇的尽头，隐隐约约，永远潜伏着这位朋友的怒眉和冷眼。不，你永远忘不了他。你真正忘掉的，而且忘得那么心安理得的，是那些已经得你回信的朋友。
英文译文
Thus Friends Absent Speak
By Yu Guangzhong
To get letters from friends, especially airmail letters fromoverseas that bear the stamp of exotic climes, is unquestionably one of life’sgreatest pleasures, provided, that is, that they do not call for a reply.Answering letters is a heavy price to pay for the enjoyment of reading letters.The inevitable consequence of tardiness or infrequency in answering letters isa corresponding reductioning, and ultimate cessation of, the pleasure ofreceiving letters, in which case friendship is prematurely broken off, untilthe day in sackcloth and ashes you summon up the willpower to put pen to paperagain. Through this dilly-dallying the pleasure of receiving letters has turnedto the misery of owing letters. I am an old lag in this respect: practicallyevery one of the friends I have made in my comings and goings can recite frommy crime sheet. W. H. Auden once admitted that he was in the habit of shelvingimportant letters, preferring instead to curl up with a detective novel; whileOscar Wilde remarked to Henley: “I have known men come to London full of brightprospects and seen them complete wrecks in a few months through a habit ofanswering letters.” Clearly Wilde’s view was that to enjoy life one shouldrenounce the bad habit of answering letters. So I am not the only one to befaint-hearted in the regard.
If it is conceded that replying to letters is to be dreaded, on theother hand, not replying to letters is by no means a matter of unalloyed bliss.Normally a hundred or so letters are stacked on my bookshelf, of diversematurity of debt outstanding, the longest being over a year. That kind ofpressure is more than an ordinary sinner can bear. A stack of unansweredletters battens on me like a bevy of plaintive ghosts and plays havoc with mysmitten conscience. In principle the letters are there for replying to. I canswear in all honesty that I have never while of sound mind determined not toanswer people’s letters. The problem is a technical one. Suppose I had a wholesummer night at my disposal: should I first answer the letter that was senteighteen months ago, or that one that was sent seven months ago? After such along delay even the expiry date for apology and self-recrimination would surelyhave passed? In your friends’ eyes, you have already stepped beyond the pale,are of no account. On the grapevine your reputation is “that impossiblefellow”.
Actually even if you screw up all your moral courage and settle downat your desk to pay off your letter debt come what may, the thing is easiersaid than done. Old epistles and new missives are jumbled up together andstuffed in the drawers or strewn on shelves; some have been answered, some not.As the poet was told about the recluse he was looking for: “I know he’s inthese mountains, but in this mist I can’t tell where.” The time and energy youwould spend to find the letter you have decided to answer would be severaltimes that needed to write the reply itself. If you went on to anticipate thatyour friend’s reaction to receiving your letter would be less “surprised byjoy” than “resentment rekindled”, then your marrow would turn to water, andyour debt would never be cleared.
To leave letters unanswered is not equivalent to forgetting friends,no more than it is conceivable that debtors can forget their creditors. At thebottom of such disquietude, at the end of your nightmares, there forever lurksthe shadowy presence of this friend with his angry frown and baleful looks: no,you can never forget him. Those who you really put out of your mind, and do so withoutqualm, are those friends who have already been replied to.
