Human Relationships Are Like Paper - Liu Xinwu

作品原文

刘心武 《人情似纸》

不要续上一个“薄”字。不是那意思。

把许多复杂的事物归结为一个简单意思的时代已经过去。

但离开了简单的归结，许多人又不知如何面对复杂。其实，从来都复杂。难道以前不复杂吗？也许，从前无论如何不如今天这般复杂。但细想，从前也复杂。

提心吊胆地说真话那阵，说了那么多。毋庸提心吊胆便可倾吐真话这阵，却什么也懒得说。

我曾到那间小屋子去看他。其实根本不是一间小屋子。只有门，没有窗，甚至没有透气孔，因此，人进去以后便必须把门敞着。那是个储藏室。空间极狭小。气息极窒闷。但我们交流得很畅快。至少在我这方面是这样想。有的话还得压低嗓门。眼波的流动中也有许多的情谊。但现在他有了二十、三十倍大的空间，许多的门，许多的窗；门紧闭着，窗半开着；“硬件”好，“软件”更棒，我却不去迈进那门槛。他也不来请我迈进那门槛。似乎也并没有什么过不去的地方。只是不再有那么多的情感了。淡了，薄了，甚至弥散了。”

据说人情似纸的“纸”现在不是“秀才人情纸半张”的那“纸”，而是赵公元帅笔下的那“纸”，即通货。由“官本位”向“金本位”转化，值得欢迎。但我更渴望“人本位”、“情本位”。社会的物质繁荣据说必须付出精神沦丧的代价。又据说落伍者看来是精神沦丧，而先锋眼中却是可喜的精神瓦解，但先锋们犹未能指出旧精神瓦解后应运诞生的新精神究竟是什么，有的先锋中的先锋则说只需瓦解无需重构：“凤凰涅盘”是可笑的，凤凰只应焚毁，何必重生？

我却仍愿抓住一点自认是永恒的东西，哪怕只有游丝般微弱。那永恒的东西里就有人情，似纸的人情。纸很薄，却可以写情书，写诗，写温情的句子，写必要的问候，当然还可以画画儿，可以折成一只小船，放到小溪里，任其顺细碎的波浪旋转着飘向远方。

转眼一年整了。一年多以前正在美国。记得到纽约的头一天，傍晚时分，曼哈顿万家灯火中，也有了我小小的一盏。在简单而舒适的下榻处，桌上有小小的花瓶，小小的花束，还有小小的卡片，卡片上写着温暖的句子。人情似卡片么？我却自从去冬以后，再没给留下卡片的人寄去哪怕是一张薄薄的纸。我总埋怨着别人的情在淡在薄在弥散，自己呢？从别人的眼中看到，该也吃了一惊吧，怎么会变成了这样？比以前冷，比以前硬，比以前懒，却比以前更会为自己辩解。

以前的时代，人情或许似醍醐，厚重粘稠？如今是人被纷至沓来的信息和事务碾扁熨平的时代，人情随之也轻薄寡淡了，人更多的依靠内心的支撑而更少希冀心外的扶持。人类在进步而人情在萎缩。真的么？

也许是因为现在“移情”的条件好多了，可以移向唱片，移向真古董和假古董，移向需要每天饲食的猫、鸟、鱼、兔，移向需要浇水剪枝施肥换盆的花草，移向小小的邮票，移向书报，总之可以更彻底地从活生生的人面前移开去。最省事的“雅移”法是寄情山水，最省事的“俗移”法则是坐到打开的电视机前剥食着花生米不分节目好赖地一直看到荧屏上现出“再见”的字样。

但心中仍不免时时逸出一丝两丝一缕几缕一片几片的对活生生的人的沟通欲望，化为思念，化为莫可名状的思绪，最后可能就拽过一张纸来，想在上面写一些情，一些别人可能并不呼应并不需要的字、词、句和标点符号……人情确确实实就是一张纸。

当我从淡薄中想起人家时，人家或许正从残存的印象中摆脱出去而正在忘却我。曼哈顿的灯火呵，哪一盏下面尚有关于我的一缕思绪？

英文译文

Human Relationships Are Like Paper

Liu Xinwu

Don’t add the word “thin”, I don’t mean that.

The times of summing up the many complicated matters into a simpleone has gone.

But without simple summing up many people don’t know how to facecomplicated situations. Actually they were complicated from the very beginning.Weren’t they in the past? Maybe at any rate things in the past were not ascomplicated as they are today. Pondering carefully, I find things in the pastwere just the same.

In the past, we had to be on tenterhooks in speaking truth, we saidso much. Today we don’t have to be on tenterhooks in telling truth, but wedon’t feel like saying anything.

I once called upon an old friend in that small room. In fact, it wasby no means a small room. It had only a door, no window and not even aventilation hole. Therefore, when a man came in, the door must be opened wide.It was a store room with very small space and very stuffy. But we had a verypleasant time exchanging our views. At least on my own part it was so. Somewords were said in whispers. The movement of our eyes was full of friendship.But now he has a bigger space, twenty or thirty times bigger, with many doorsand windows. The doors are tightly closed and the windows half open. His”hardwares” are fine and his “softwares” still excellent. Inever enter that door and he never invites me either… It seems as if we arenot hard on each other but we don’t share the same feelings. Our relation hasbecome light and thin, in fact completely disappeared.

It is said that the “paper” in “Human relationshipsare like paper” by no means bears the current meaning of the”paper” in “The relationship between scholars is but half asheet of paper”. But the “paper” under the pen of Marshal Zhao(Zhao Gongming, God of wealth in Chinese folklore), i.e. the currency. Thetransition from the “Official Standard” to “Gold Standard”is appreciable, but I am still curious about “Human Standard” and”Sentimental Standard”. It is said that the material boom of asociety must be done at the cost of the reduction of its ideology. It is alsosaid that those who lag behind are ideologically reduced, but in the eyes of thepioneers, it is a gratifying ideological disintegration. But then the pioneersmay not point out what is the new ideology when the old ideology has gone. Somepioneers said that only disintegration is needed and there is no need forreconstruction. “Phoenix Nirvana” (1) is laughable; the phoenix canonly be burned to death, why should there be rebirth?

As for me, I still grasp firmly at the hits of things which I regardas being eternal, even if they are as tiny as a hairspring. Eternal thingsinclude human relationships, which are as thin as paper. The paper is verythin, but it can be used to write love letters, poems, tender words andnecessary greetings. Of course, it can be used to draw pictures or to fold intosmall paper boats and to be put into a stream, drifting upon gentle ripples tofaraway places.

A year has elapsed in a blink. A year ago I was in America. Iremember the first day when I went to New York it was dusk. Among the myriadsof twinkling lights in Manhattan, there was a small light of mine. In thesimple and soft residence on the table was a pretty flower vase with a verysmall bouquet of flowers and a pretty card, on which were written some warmwords. Are human relationships as thin as paper? Since last winter I have neversent even a thin piece of paper to the man who left me the card. I oftencomplain about other’s feelings becoming light and thin and even disappearing.But what of me? In the eyes of others, it may be a shock as well. How is itthat I have become so? I have become cooler, lazier, and more guarded than Iwas before.

In the past, human relationships were probably like the finestcream, too thick, heavy and sticky. Nowadays man is being pressed flat andironed into something smooth by the continuous stream of information andaffairs. Accordingly, human relationships are becoming light and thin. Man isrelying more on their inner world support rather than on the support from theoutside. Human beings are advancing but human relationships are dwindling.Isn’t it true?

Perhaps it is because of too many conditions that can shift ourfeelings. We can shift to records, to ancient curios, and artificial curios,from daily-fed cats, birds, fish, rabbits to flowers and grass which needattention, shearing, applying fertilizer and changing pots, from small stampsto books and newspapers. In short, it can be shifted thoroughly from living manto other things. The easiest way of “Elegant Shifting” is to placeone’s feeling upon landscapes. The simplest “Humble Shifting” methodis to turn on your TV set. Sit in front of it and watch its programmes on thescreen while eating peanuts, regardless of whether the programmes are good orbad, till they say “Good night!”

But sometimes I can not refrain from the desire to communicate withothers… one or two bits, one or more strands, one or more words, which changesinto nameless feeling and deep-felt void… then I might finally take a sheetof paper and trace these feelings of affection. My words, sentences and marksmay or may not get a response. Human relationships are really a piece of paper.

When I think of others in my light and thin feeling, others mayforget me in their faintest memory about me. Oh, the lights in Manhattan…under which lamp still remains this feeling of mine?

(1)Phoenix Nirvana: a religious term in Buddhism, meaning anillusionary realm beyond life and death.